Any time it comes up, a divorce can be challenging. There are a lot of emotions involved. Sure, not all of them are bad emotions necessarily. But they are almost always powerful emotions. Few go into a divorce feeling apathetic. That’s why, if you see a divorce coming, there are a few things you should do to prepare for a divorce.

Some of this preparation will involve getting your finances in order. But sometimes it’s going to be about getting your emotional life in order. Asking, how should you prepare for your divorce, is really the first step on the road to actually doing it.

And that’s a lesson that we can absorb right off the bat here. Once you set yourself on a course to divorce, it’s a good idea to remember that divorce is a commitment just as marriage is a commitment. You can do serious damage to your financial and emotional wellbeing by waffling on your divorce (that said, every situation is different, and you might have individual circumstances that undermine that particular piece of advice).

Make Sure You Have Separate Bank Accounts

One of the best ways you can prepare for a divorce is to ensure you have your own bank account. Most married couples have at least one joint savings and joint checking accounts. That can make things complicated when it comes to establishing how you’re going to pay your own individual bills.

Of course, having a separate bank account is only the beginning. You need to make sure you actually use that account. The best way to do that is to change your direct deposit so that your paychecks are being placed directly into your individual account.

Having your own account is going to make it significantly easier to part ways financially down the road. And it will give you a nice security blanket if you’re not yet committed to a divorce.

Have Open Communication

You usually find communication in the “best marriage advice” column, but it’s relevant in a divorce setting as well. A good divorce is not one that is achieved via duplicity. The best way to avoid conflict or contention is to openly discuss all topics.

That includes issues such as:

  • How to split up or pay off debt
  • Dividing child care time and financials
  • Selling or dividing property
  • How to deal with pets
  • Other issues that require both parties to agree on solutions

The more open your communication is, the better you’ll be able to come up with mutually beneficial solutions.

Remember Patience

Sometimes, when you decide you want a divorce, you want it right now. And that’s completely understandable. But it’s important to note that divorce can be a long process. You should prepare by resolving to remember your patience. Nothing is going to be decided overnight–certainly not in a legally binding way.

That doesn’t mean you can’t get out of if you need to (another reason to have your own bank account). You can always move out on your own well before your divorce is finalized. Just because a divorce doesn’t take time doesn’t mean a separation can’t be immediate.

If you really want to get prepared for your divorce, your best bet is to talk over your options with a divorce attorney. That attorney will be able to look at your individual situation and make personalized recommendations in order to really prepare you for your divorce.